Internet big sis. Pilot.

:How do I be more patient with my siblings?

Intro.

Hiiii

It’s your INTERNET BIG SIS!!

As the eldest daughter,I’ve always wanted an older sister. Someone to give me advice, listen to my problems, teach me how to wear concealer and just be a girl with me.

Of course, I only want one because I didn’t have one and needed to navigate the world on my own. Then, I had a thought. What if I started an “Internet Big Sis” thing where I give older sister advice and stuff to my girlies online??

I asked and you answered enthusiastically. So here it is.

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The first one I got is: “how do I stay patient when my younger siblings are asses?”

(BTW request however you want, in my comments, on my latest notes, in DM’s, in my chat, I don’t mind!)

This is such a relatable feeling. Your siblings can be the most annoying asses on the planet at times. They make you wanna rip your hair right out. But you love them. The thing about siblings is, you’d give them a kidney to keep but you won’t let them borrow a sweater.

I’m going to assume a lot of us girls have an upbringing of having to be a second mother. You have to cook and clean and do laundry and shop for groceries and babysit and never get angry and never be disrespectful and get good grades and look appropriate and good but not too good but not bad and unpresentable and be sweet and say the right things, but not too sweet so the men don’t get the wrong idea and the boys don’t try out their wrong ideas but when are you getting married and more and more and more.

A lot of time you’re on the verge of burning out. And that’s valid. You don’t have the time to be dealing with your younger sister’s shenanigans. You don’t have the energy to act super interested in your 5 year old little brother’s day.

You’ve spent all day on this performance of a girl, daughter, mom, student, friend, babysitter, cook, cleaner and therapist. You just want to crash into bed. And I get that. I do.

But in order to build that connection with your siblings, it’s going to take some sacrifice. Depending on their age that is. I write this little tid-bit with the siblings being younger than you in mind.

In all the chaos of trying to maintain yourself in a tough situation, it’s easy to forget you’re not the only one in it. Sure, you’re the one getting the brunt of the impact. Being a girl and the oldest. But your younger sister and your younger brother are also living in that environment.

We often emulate the behaviors of our parents. Specifically the one we don’t like. I’m sure every overworked daughter knows how much of her father’s anger she inherited. But your rage is justified and his anger is entitlement and his resentment is because of you not being as forgiving and serving as his wife.

I think the first step to getting more forgiving with your younger siblings is to acknowledge they’re also in the same situation. Be it with back minded parents, a house of eggshell floors, and an explosive of a person in the home, a quiet annoyance everyone dances around, a narcissist, a liar, an irresponsible adult. Whatever the shitty situation is, one that you have to fix, they’re also growing up in it.

Us girls have strong feelings about our mothers. We love them even when we don’t like them. We can see their agony and misery and yet we can still hold some resentment in our hearts for the way they treated us. Let’s not forget our younger siblings can feel that way too.

It will take time, and improvement takes a while. But the moment being the person your younger sibling comes to in a time of need is a lot more of an accomplishment than you might think.

There’s a huge sense of relief and love and success when your baby brother comes to you to talk about something that happened at school that day, or your sister comes to you about something she doesn’t feel like anyone else would get, or a sibling reaching out about something that’s been bothering them.

Sitting there knowing you’ve created a space for them to feel safe when no one did that for you is a lot more comforting than you would expect.

It’s hard to build rapport, and definitely hard to get someone to trust your behaviour has changed towards them for the better, and especially difficult with kids whose parents are often the first people to break their trust. But you’ve been that kid. So you know better than anyone what they need.

Let’s all be kinder to our younger siblings. You don’t want to be another person they dread going home and seeing.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Feel free to drop any reqs

I luv uuuu